It's okay to not be okay

As I approach my 37th trip around the sun, I’ve decided to let go of the idea that I am a problem in need of fixing. I’ve spent so long trying to live up to unreasonable standards, spending countless hours speaking to myself in ways I would never speak to another person.

In my few years working in the trauma field, I continue to learn so much. One seemingly simple realization I keep coming back to is that no one is ever always okay.

Everyone gets insecure. Everyone wants love and safety. Everyone experiences sadness, joy, anger, and fear. Each in their own way and in their own time. This doesn’t mean you aren’t significant. It means you aren’t alone, and you aren’t damaged.

Yoga reminds us that we are not only our bodies, our minds, or our experiences. We are so much more than we give ourselves credit for. So, I’ve decided to practice being okay with not being okay.

There is something that seems to shift when you let go of a sense of lack. When you spend less time telling yourself that you aren’t worthy enough to experience the world, you can finally begin to appreciate it. And almost as if the world were waiting for you to notice, it starts to ripen before your eyes.

I’ve even noticed this shift in my work with Mitra.

I have been incredibly fortunate to be supported through Enlace de Familias’ Launch and Lead Program, which has allowed a lot of wonderful new growth to emerge. They are also supporting my collaboration with Vallis Outpost and the Holyoke Boys & Girls Club to create new Mitra and Phoenix Project T-shirts. Stay tuned!

With the amazing support of 50 Arrow Gallery, I’m also excited to bring back Grounded in Community, now as a weekly, free BIPOC yoga class. I’m also now offering Thrive Together, a bi-weekly, free, drop-in yoga support space for survivors of sexual trauma. Based on my original 8-week Thrive series, this rotating series invites participants to attend whichever sessions resonate with them. Each workshop stands on its own while exploring themes that support healing, perseverance, and autonomy.

Most importantly, all of this has been made possible through your support. Whether you have practiced with me once, join me weekly, or have only ever read this blog, I am so grateful to you. I do this work because of you, with you, and for you.

So, as I enter another year, I encourage you to join me in recognizing your own wholeness and remembering that you were never a problem to be fixed.