Joy!

Recently, during a check-in on Zoom, I heard someone say, "if you're doing well right now, I don't trust you." I quickly pulled my hand away from my mouse. I was about to unmute to share just how well I've been doing.

 I am making more connections with incredible individuals through Mitra, developing more collaborations with inspiring organizations like Gandara Center and Learn2Cope. I published my first poem with Safe Passage's third Survivor Anthology (*TRIGGER WARNING*). And I got engaged to my best friend, my soulmate, the man I've loved for over 20 years!

I can understand how gushing like this might seem wrong or selfish at this time. When there is so much suffering, so much grief and injustice in the world. But the truth is we can't wait for peace to arrive before we allow ourselves joy.

 We must create joy. In the face of, and in spite of, the atrocities around us.

That is not to say we should just ignore the realities of the world or chase pleasure to numb ourselves. But I am joyful. My life feels abundant. And I believe my joy is part of my resistance.

This administration relies on relentless, overwhelming news cycles, delivered at a chaotic pace, designed to exhaust us into silence and despair. As someone who lives with severe depression, it’s a daily practice not to fall back. When I do, I become lethargic, apathetic, and full of self-loathing. I can barely help myself, let alone those around me.

But from joy, from love, from hope, I can see possibilities. I can imagine a different way forward.

 I know I'm not going to save the world, but I can keep trying. I can keep showing up. I can keep supporting others. In order to do this, I have to take care of myself. This doesn't just mean getting rest and eating well. It also means laughing with friends, holding someone you love, and living into the world we are trying to create.